Sunday 21 March 2021

Census Done

Today is both World Poetry Day and Census Day.

I hate ticking boxes, I'd rather write an essay telling you who I am*, and why I've not had paid employment for a long time, but there is no option for that! 

(*I am a princess, a brain and a basket case - to misquote The Breakfast Club, the other two don't apply)

I've written it all before on my blog. And I've shared much of my personal history on Facebook should you need it, for your algorithms and such like. 

So instead I've written a poem on my ponderings... at least on a particular box, the one particular definition that sometimes/often/rarely makes me the person I am today... maybe!

There is so much the census doesn't tell you and it reminds you of things in black and white that are really shades of grey.

But at least it is done for another ten years...


Census done.

2 without you now.

Each snapshot a decade apart

Single three times

(just a child)

married once

(and a mother too!)

widowed twice, at least on paper.

Yet only 53!

That doesn't sound so old.

Or maybe it does

to millennials

who see me as someone

old enough to be their mum.

Not a grandma though.

Will I ever have that title

to add to my collection?

What will the records show?

What boxes will I tick

in the next decade?

Will I remain

widowed,

one - 

census done!


Saturday 6 March 2021

Help! I think I’m turning into an introvert!

 I am most definitely a people person. I love meeting new people and I’m usually full of questions wanting to know their stories, what makes them tick. My brain likes to make connections and I am genuinely interested.

I guess that makes me an extrovert!

I thrive on social interaction.

But the longer lockdown goes on the happier I feel being cocooned in my own little world on my own with a good book – I think I’ve already read 8 this year and it is only the beginning of March; I usually only manage a couple a month.

Am I becoming an introvert?

Or is there more going on?

I still love meeting people, talking to people, in fact I’ve joined a local book swapping group on Facebook and am currently messaging someone I don’t know in person arranging collection of a book I’m giving away. Unfortunately, she lives in the next village and it’s just a little too far to walk to for a drop off.

And that’s the issue I suppose, I’m having to make excuses to go out anywhere. It’s been drummed into us that we need to stay at home, save the NHS, not make unnecessary journeys.

During the enforced confinement I’ve decided I quite like my cosy little home; I don’t really need to leave so I’m retreating from the world only venturing out into cyber space for the odd zoom meeting. Does that satisfy my need for human interaction? Most days the answer is a resounding yes!

And it’s cold and dull outside so why bother?

Of course, I do go out, Friday’s market is a highlight of my week because I get to talk to so many people. I regularly chat to all the stall holders and try to buy from as many as I can.

Our church is open and although we don’t congregate for coffee as we used to do after a service, plenty of us gather near the door on leaving, often still with masks on, chatting for a bit, longer when the sun shines.

That will make a big difference, warmer weather and less restrictions will be a marvellous combination.


There is light at the end of the tunnel, infection rates are declining and more of my friends are getting vaccinated every week. Soon we will be able to emerge like butterflies.

I’m certain I won’t have forgotten my people skills but breaking out will still be tentative.

Some people are incredibly anxious about going out into the big wide world again and although I worry that I might be turning into an introvert just writing these thoughts down have made me realise I will inevitably blossom again in the milder weather.

Youngest son recently went back to uni so my life is obviously different with only me to consider. This is a time to be selfish, do what I want and if that is stay in, snuggle under a blanket and read a book or 2 or 3 or 4 so be it!

Life is full of ups and downs and there have been several valleys for me, particularly in the last three years. This will pass, I’ve been through much worse.

But I do pray for those who are really struggling and are fearful of what happens next. Hopefully thinking through my own muddled thoughts will help me develop more empathy and compassion.

Whether you are an introvert, extrovert or somewhere in between I think we are all going to need plenty of kindness in the coming months.




Thursday 4 March 2021

A Trio of Triolet

 

Broken Down

You like to have an object you can mend

Screwdriver, hammer and a few choice words

Your refusal to talk drive me round the bend

You like to have an object you can mend

 

What I say you cannot comprehend

I feel as though my voice is barely heard

You like to have an object you can mend

Screwdriver, hammer and a few choice words

 


Mirror Wishes

We bought a mirror with a gilt-edged frame

How I wish I could climb inside

Reflections are identical – I almost look the same

We bought a mirror with a gilt-edged frame

 

To step into another world would be quite a game

Out here I’m found, in there I’d hide

We bought a mirror with a gilt-edged frame

How I wish I could climb inside

 

Fudge

A box of birthday fudge

Melts on my tongue – sugar sweet!

These extra pounds just won’t budge

A box of birthday fudge

 

Size me up – who are you to judge?

Well packaged with a bow so neat

A box of birthday fudge

Melts on my tongue – sugar sweet!