Resonance

My previous post about being lost garnered several positive comments on Facebook and the most commonly used word was “resonance”, how my own story aligned with others.

Everyone’s story is different but there are common threads that bind us together.

Because I’m a bit geeky and like to look things up I did a Google search on resonance and came up with mostly lots of physics stuff. I even discovered what the Dopler Effect was – if you’ve ever watched The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon goes to a fancy dress party as the Dopler Effect you might just find that amusing – at least I did! And it gave me something to discuss with youngest son who has an A level in Physics!

Resonance in humanity and my writing is perhaps less defined, while one friend was drawn to the comparisons of having an empty nest for one, others connected with the lostness, and some have shared a similar chemo journey, by themselves or with others.

I’m currently reading Michelle Obama’s book Becoming. Some of her story resonates with me especially the humble beginnings of a young girl who thought she wasn’t quite enough.

She grew up in a poor neighbourhood in Chicago, in a rented apartment with a brother and very loving parents who provided for her, often going without themselves.

I grew up in a council house, and as I grew older, I was aware that other friends had different family set ups, maybe with more money, more expensive presents, foreign holidays. But my childhood was happy, loving and secure, in the same way Michelle Obama’s early days were.

But then our story deviates, her brother was older and he was the trail blazer going off to college first and in so doing giving Michelle the confidence to follow in his wake.

Suddenly she was enough, she pushed on through, working so hard to reach her academic goals.

I was the older sister who went ahead, never thinking about when I would stop my education. I always pursued that next rung of the ladder, sixth form, Polytechnic – not quite up to university standards. But then I didn’t quite believe I was enough – something was always pulling me back a bit. A little niggle in my ear, that I was the girl from the council house, not cut out for such lofty aspirations. To be honest at the time I never totally understood this brave new world I had stepped into.

And these thoughts can stay with you for years and leave you feeling bewildered for a long time.

Perhaps my journey last week was a reminder of those feelings.

But as the comments rolled in like waves on a beach, I remembered my dreams of writing. Never forgotten but so often pushed aside. I have a voice and what I write resonates and connects people. What a privilege to have such a gift!

I am good enough and my words deserve to be heard, I needed to be reminded of that once more, this seems to be my purpose.

Getting lost the other week was yet another wake up call – stop wasting time – this is your calling. Getting lost gave me the space and time to write, for pleasure but also with purpose.

Who knows where it will ultimately lead but I have to pursue this path. I have to plan and make the time, I have to focus and push away the doubts.

This world has become so fractured it needs people to find the resonance and connect us together again, seeking out the common threads rather than the issues that divide us.

Ok I might not entirely save the world or set it all alight with my sparkling prose but just a few more connections, a bit of resonance and maybe I will make a little corner of the world a better place where we become found not lost!

New clothes

I follow various Christian organisations on Facebook and many are posting daily lent reflections. The Church of England has a produced a series of thoughts entitled Lent Pilgrim.

Today’s title is New Clothes and the reading comes from Colossians 3:9-15 focusing on the verse

“clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience…”

I must admit I haven’t signed up to the accompanying daily emails so I can’t tell you what they have to say but just the small verse above was very pertinent today as I took a collection of 30 coats from my church to a local collection point for a charity who will take them across to Calais and distribute them amongst the refugees gathered there living in the streets and under tarpaulins.

The coats have been kept in the main body of the church and most people have responded with amazing generosity.

However there are always some negative comments, I’ve not heard any personally but one older member of the congregation told me today that someone had complained to her about the messy pile and her reply was…

            “Are you warm?”

            The complainer nodded.

            “Well these coats are for people who are not as fortunate.”

Or words to that effect – I am so pleased people have taken to the cause and given.

So often we don’t know how to respond to the great disasters of this world. And there are plenty of things that have happened just over the past week in the world that make us weep, from the cyclone in Africa to the tragedy in New Zealand and Red Nose Day highlighting a whole range of issues including the rise of food bank use and starving children in our own country!

How do we respond? How can we help? Especially when the need is so far away beyond our reach. And if we give to something so remote we often wonder if it really reaches those who need it most.

I know many people who are stretched, or at least their finances are and there is only so much you can give and keep giving out.

But lent can be a time to look around and see what you don’t need and give it away.

After all just how many coats can you wear on your back?

And by giving an item of clothing away you are clothing yourself with all those good virtues listed above

compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience!

(not quite sure if patience actually fits in this instance but the others certainly apply.)

The passage in Colossians finishes with these wise words…

            “And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all purpose garment. Never be without it.”

Relationships

I had some lovely comments about my new blog post yesterday including one which said

            “not everyone has the relationship with words you do.”

It was an interesting phrase that got me thinking, can you have a relationship with something as abstract as words and language?

We tend to think of relationships being with other people, husband and wife, parent and child, friends and family. That very important interaction between people.

If we are fortunate our relationships grow and flourish as we get to know people on a deeper level and it truly enriches our lives.

So how about a relationship with a pet? I’m not a great animal person to be honest but I have many friends who love their animals dearly and they can become a huge part of a person’s family.

A relationship with a plant? Well it is living and breathing, my dad is outside now in the garden, tidying up the greenhouse and planting new seeds. Taking time and care to cultivate something new.

Youngest son was given a cacti type plant as a gift before going to university and looking after it has given him pleasure and a sense of fear when a leaf dropped off and he wondered what he should do. Would it die?

The loss of a relationship can be unbearable, the death of a person, pet or maybe even a plant.

So back to the abstract, my relationship with words. The way I like to play with them, tease them into pleasing sentences, getting the meter right in a poem so it flows.

And when I don’t sit and play with new ideas? I guess a little bit of me does die inside, an inner light dims and my eyes don’t give off as much sparkle.

Oh the fanciful ideas of a would be writer!!!! Hehehe

And what of the most important relationship of all? Our relationship with the creator of the universe – God, the Almighty.

Ah - now some might say that’s an abstract construct too!

But for me my relationship with God is real and growing, changing over the years, as all relationships do, developing to a deeper level and understanding as time and circumstances shape my experiences.

I’ve been through a lot of challenges recently but it’s in those tough times that all relationships really grow and God has once again become more real and tangible to me.

Maybe the comment I started with could have read

            “not everyone has the GIFT with words you do.”

Perhaps that would have made more sense, but then I wouldn’t have pondered and written so much today.

Ultimately I think all relationships are a gift and that includes all the types I’ve written about today.

That God wants to know us and be involved in our lives is a tremendous gift.

That another human being opens up and shares their lives with us is a humbling gift.

That an animal brings out the compassionate side of us is an amazing gift.

That we care enough for the world that we want to take time to make plants grown and thrive is a green-fingered gift to the planet!

And my relationship with words? I hope it is a gift to you and I know it’s a gift from God that fills me with much joy.

So what gifts and relationships do you have that bring you joy? 

Perhaps ponder how you can grow and develop them today!