The trials of online shopping

 I wrote a story for Paragraph Planet yesterday but I don’t think they will publish these 75 words. Actually, on reflection I don’t think they should.

It’s about the “ridiculous” laws around buying a knife.

It’s not about buying a machete.

Its about buying a cheese knife for attacking a chunk of cheddar.

Although I suppose you could cause much harm with a cheese knife if you had the mind to.

The other thing you should know about the story is that it comes from a true story. My friend is of a certain age and the way she related her tale had us all giggling.

She was buying the knife on line and somehow had to prove she was over 18 to the robot at the other end.

Being quick witted she typed in her credit card details, reasoning you can’t have a credit card under the age of 18. Incontrovertible proof!

“You have given me rather a lot of personal information.” Was the robots reply.

“Can you delete it please.”

Hopefully it complied but it still didn’t address the issue of proving her age.

 

I realise knife crime is a serious issue. I’d love to visit the knife angel sculpture if I ever get a chance. It looks both magnificent and poignant.

Of course we should have laws for buying knives, scissors, matches, guns, and anything that can cause deliberate harm.

I wish there were more laws against selling weapons and arms to powerful people who use them to destroy and maim and subjugate.

 

I don’t expect to hear back from Paragraph Planet on this occasion. You can’t always explain the context in just 75 words. But hopefully in just under 400 words you will understand this has much more to do with how some people struggle with online shopping. What was once a simple task has now tied us up in knots.

 

This was the day she realised the world had gone totally mad, not only did she have to prove she was not a robot but now the robot at the other end of the algorithm wanted her to prove her age. She remembered rationing after the war and her phone number from 1972. She remembered the days you could but an axe at the hardware store but today she can’t buy a cheese knife online.