The words other people say

I can now say I am a published writer with no fear of boasting or exaggeration.

I’ve seen my words in print before, been featured in anthologies of short stories and poems but now I have published my first solo effort and am earning some money from it – time will tell if I ever break even with all my expenses so far, I’ve not done the maths but that is immaterial just now.

About fifty people came to my “bookless” book launch over a week ago. The following Monday I stood in front of another dozen or so people at my first speaking engagement, waffling on and waving my arms about. I’m not good at keeping still, I open my mouth to talk and my hands automatically join in.

My book has been sold as far away as Australia and Italy.

The first empty book box - the first of many I hope.
Can you spy the glitter sparkling at the bottom?

It’s all rather exciting but when I clicked onto Amazon and discovered my first five-star review, I actually bounced on the sofa with joy.

When people say nice things it can be all too easy to shrug them off, brush the compliments away while insults and hurtful words tend to stick like glue.

At my book launch I asked a few people to write 100 words about me and I admit everyone excelled themselves with their own lovely words about me.

A friend who I was at school with from the age of five all the way until sixth form together wrote something based on an acrostic of my name, Such fun, Abundance of energy, Reunion, Aging – or rather NOT aging and Hilarious laughs together.

My bridesmaid wrote a piece peppered with references too BAZAAR to explain to anyone else. Fellow writer Ruth Leigh recalled how we first met in a pub, introduced by a mutual friend and how we still regularly meet in a bar.

The rector recalled our first meeting a little over five years ago.

Pauline (Sarah’s Mum) told me about Sarah leaving the north to come back to Hadleigh but discovered that she had cancer. I found out about Andrew, two ‘boys’ and all the complexity that this person had been through. Not a great fan of hospital visiting, I summoned my energy to see this hapless victim.

“Hapless victim” .... not!

I met the full on, dynamic entity called “Sarah”. I sat on the end of a hospital bed listening to her story.

The nature of Sarah is bustling busy-ness, passionate and compassionate, speaking up for those who might not have a voice!

Deo gratias

I admit I had to look up Deo gratias – it means thanks be to God.

The Brett Valley Collective, who I have performed with put their heads together to come up with words to describe me which was crafted into this poem which even rhymes.

Enthusiastic, dedicated

A mover and a shaker

Upbeat, warm and generous

Resilient, not a faker

 

Strong and courageous

A can doer, a creative

Despite some time up north

In Hadleigh she’s a native

 

A smiler Sarah loves to laugh

If she seems nice - well she is

Chatty with a zest for life she

Bubbles like a glass of fizz

 

A trusted member of our team

At BVC she’s in

Chances now of getting out

Are looking very slim

 

Without sweet moments life can feel

 Like lemons sharp and bitter 

So let’s take a leaf from Sarah’s book and go

In search of some lost glitter

 

They went over by 3 words – but I think you will agree they are important so I let them off, especially after I was sprinkled with actual glitter.

My oldest son wrote about the times we had watched sport together, including the first time I took him to a Premiership football match. While he could remember all the action and who scored the goals, my lasting memory was walking through a rainbow painted tunnel to get to the ground which I thought was so pretty. Then there was the time we watched tennis together and I couldn’t tell the players apart as they were dressed identically. My son said “Nadal is left-handed,” which only confused me even more.

Then youngest son shared this, in rhyme and exactly 100 words. Just like his mother he enjoys a challenge, but I must say I never quite expected these words, which made my eyes leak…

You were my comfort when thing went wrong in 2010,

And how much have you done since,

all those conversations about Avengers, and the X-men.

 

Finding a short cut through the waterfall on LEGO Racers,

how was that not a dead end?

Hosting Friday Tea so I can see all my friends

 

Helping me make bolognaise answering my phone call

“How do I cut a pepper”?

Let's not forget all my university work

where you have played the role of spell checker.

 

Or our long evenings watching superheroes on the TV.

You have always been the best mum for me.

 

Every person summed me up, or at least the version of Sarah that they knew and loved. And how loved I felt that evening.

As I writer you want your words to resonate and mean something. Getting a kind comment, a review by official channels or just a message saying how much your writing has meant to them is PRICELESS.

Maybe we should all scatter compliments and kind words like confetti and if we catch some hold on to them tightly and believe they are true!

A Book Launch to Remember

For those who couldn't attend last night here is what I had to say for myself.

Hadleigh Old School - all ready for the book launch with not a book in sight!

"It’s difficult to know where to start really. Julie Andrews says you start at the very beginning and I suppose this is where I began. In what was once a small market town, definitely NOT a village but back in the late 60s and early 70s, Hadleigh was at least half the size it is today.

Going back even further to a time before I was born or even thought of, my dad, along with his brothers, went to school in this very building. He was a practical sort, not academic and probably hated every minute.

“What do you want to have your book launch at my old school for?” I can imagine him saying in his broad Suffolk accent.

But then would he ever have believed I could write a book? It was something way beyond his comprehension.

“What have you been doing all day?” He’d ask in the school holidays. “Reading.” “Haven’t you done anything constructive?” Now I written a book, perhaps even he would consider that all the reading I did as a child was constructive after all.

Writing has been a dream of mine for a long time, as well as being a dancer, an actress, a general superstar and all-round diva. I feel like I have finally arrived in my sparkly dress; surrounded by so many of you. I stopped counting how many people I had invited tonight and I am truly flattered to have you all here supporting me. It means a lot.

My writing really took off after my husband Andrew died and I became a widow at 42. Like my dad he never really understood my literary passions, and told me I didn’t know the right people to ever be published. Once that may have been true, but the world has changed since he’s been gone.

My first blog, started two weeks after Andrew died on what would have been his 49^th birthday was called unravelling edges. I was coming undone at the seams. My words resonated with readers as I processed my grief, that funny black cloud that surrounded me that I didn’t really understand. I thank God for my two sons Joe and Ben who gave me a reason to get up each morning. They were only 13 and 10.

In the months that followed the word count grew and I thought I could so easily put my writing in a book – how foolish I was. It has taken a lot of tears, tantrums, and time to get this project to completion. I won’t read out the long list of acknowledgments listed in the back of the book – once you get a copy you can read them for yourself…

Which brings me to the elephant in the room, the lack of actual books to buy this evening. 

I don't even have enough Os on my light box to write the message oops no books!

It is ironic really that a book about finding glitter in the darkest of days should be beset with such problems. I only have myself to blame for not ordering them on time. But most of you know me well enough to know I am not the most organised person on the planet and I have my own inimitable way of doing things.

However, I decided a “no book” book launch is such a good gimmick and I’ve made you all a commemorative bookmark (many thanks to Emma in the church office) One day when I am a total mega star, or at the very least a C grade celeb on Strictly it might be worth a small fortune!

bookmarks with sparkly wool tassels, each hand threaded by me!

You can still pre-order books tonight and pay by cash or card. I will hand deliver or post on at no extra cost early next week.

But I have waffled on for more than 500 words - that’s quite a feat when most of the stories in the book are less than a quarter of that.

Another USP – unique selling point. My memoir is written in very short stories, like snapshots that “coalesce to form a vivid picture of a person dealing with loss in a real and personal way”. So says author and podcaster Matt McChlery in the endorsements. Which you can read once you get the book.

The 100 words idea was self-imposed because I am a bit of a nerd when it comes to numbers – one of the stories is called “sixteen years, six months, six days” some of you might be sharp enough to realise the significance of that particular time period.

It’s not always easy to write a story in so few words and sometimes my words have overflowed so they make more sense.

Now before I read some of my own stories to you I thought it would be good to hear some other voices, some other stories, but still all about me!

I have challenged a few friends to tell their own stories about me in 100 words. I’m not sure what they are going to say but they are people with different perspectives, people that have known me at different stages of my life, some for just a few years, and others for too many decades to count."

 

I then handed the floor over to my friends to share their recollections, which were varied, often funny, some rhymed, there was an acrostic and my own words were used against me. I was even showered in actual glitter. I will seek permission to share these words on my blog another day.

 

Looking glamourous in my sparkly dress with my proof copy and glass of prosecco!

I read a few of my own stories about some of the unique celebrations we have shared as a family. 

Then I took pre-orders for the non-existent books – it’s NOT a SCAM honest!!!

There was mingling, much laughter, plenty of hugs and the bubbles flowed – although honestly I was on such a HIGH even half a glass of Prosecco was enough to get me giddy – but then as some friends know lemonade bubbles can make me tipsy…

Now that is a story I never got to write, and many more have been popping into me head – perhaps my next book should be the inbetween stories. The every day tales that never fitted the narrative this time around. Let me know if you think that’s a good plan. Maybe some truth and some fiction. I do need to think about what to write next…

…but for now I will bask in the glow of a glittery evening that I shall fondly remember FOREVER. After all it’s not every day you have your first ever solo book launch!

The trials and tribulations of planning a book launch

You know that recurring nightmare we all have of turning up at a posh do wearing nothing but our underwear? Not the glamourous matching set but the faded washed-out pants of indeterminate colour and the bra with a BHS label - how long is it since they stopped trading?

Well, I have a new nightmare to keep me awake in the wee small hours, an author version.

Imagine a book launch with NO BOOKS!

I don’t have to imagine that hard to be honest. Yesterday my KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing for those not in the know) said my books were finally ‘live’ and I was able to order my author copies.

Great I thought, I have exactly one week, Amazon are very good at delivering things in good time. Have you seen how many Prime vans there are about these days, there are hardly an endangered species. I drove past one yesterday, parked completely on the kerb by the post office, an accident waiting to happen.

But I digress, as most storytellers do until the final edit.

I ordered my 200 copies – well I have at least 50 people coming to my launch party next Friday and at least three speaking engagements planned in the near future. 

I paid for ‘expedited delivery’ but my books will not arrive until Monday 15th, the book launch is Friday 12th.

It’s not even an ‘expected delivery date’ – they seem quite certain that they will dispatch my books on the 14th.

from my positivity calendar - a Christmas gift from oldest son

I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry? I take comfort in the fact my proof copy arrived two days earlier than I expected it, which really threw me off balance to be honest.

There is a little bit of me that knows I procrastinated too long, even wondered what would happen if…?

I admit have a self-destruct button I’m fond of pressing, or at least my finger hovers over it as I ponder.

Once I was at a concert watching beer bottles been thrown into the crowd as the support act played, and the thought crossed my mind, ‘what if one of them hits somebody?’ You can guess what happens next – there’s a story about it in my book, which you can read, once you manage to get hold of a copy.

And so, I face the complete tragedy of a book launch with NO BOOKS!

Is it really a tragedy or just a minor inconvenience?

I do not live in a country being bombed, daily fearing for my life. Closer to home I do not live on a flood plain, I won’t have to suffer the devastation of muddy water pouring through my house. I have much to be thankful for.

No body died!

Well, that last statement is not quite true, my book is a memoir about losing my husband, at least that was my starting point. I didn’t understand what grief was as I negotiated those early days of confusion. Writing a blog kept me sane and helped me process my thoughts and feelings.

I tried hard to end each blog post positively, 

I can find the perfect words for EVERY occasion!

I think I failed only twice when my mood just could not be improved by furiously tapping on the keyboard, those times I left the laptop and went and had a good cry instead.

Disappointment has in many ways become second nature to me, I’ve come to expect the unexpected although I try hard not to be pessimistic with it. Sometimes it’s like walking a tightrope.

It’s a bit of a cliché but I’ve come so far on this journey. Just in the past year I have successfully wrangled my words into a cohesive book that is being published by Resolute Books, a collaboration of authors who I am indebted to for including me in their esteemed ranks.

The venue for the launch had been booked for months, I have so many people coming and I will pull out all the stops to make it a most marvellous party, with or without a pile of books.

My first port of call last night when I resigned myself to ‘whatever will be’ was youngest son. He cheered me up showing me a picture of new Lego set he might buy me for my birthday and then decided it was ironic that launching a book about how life often goes wrong was still throwing up the unexpected curve ball.

a Lego pheasant! Yes I know it's really a peacock, when you read the book you will understand the joke

This is real life; it doesn’t always happen as we plan. Sometimes we need to collapse on the sofa and have a good cry to get it out of our system, or walk along a deserted beach shouting into the wind, or curl up in the arms of a loved one who can sooth away the pain. All are very effective tried and tested methods.

Ultimately, search for the tiny bits of sparkle and glitter and make the best of any situation. Some people call me inspirational for doing so, but we can’t live in the dark forever. Find someone to guide you, to hold your hand and listen. Reach out and believe there will be a rainbow around the next corner.

 

I hope and pray that 2024 is a really good year for you whatever is thrown your way and my best piece of advice is - if you decide to write a book, order your author copies in plenty of time!