I was having a WhatsApp chat with some writing friends yesterday about the use of swear words in our writing, particularly with reference to writing for young adults or for a Christian audience.
What one person finds perfectly acceptable might cause great
offence to someone else. How to be authentic without upsetting your readers can
be a minefield.
Then someone said, in the cartoon Bluey the word “biscuits”
is used to denote frustration.
Well, that got me thinking and I came up with this…
If Biscuits were Swear Words!
KIT KAT and
PENGUIN were her expletives of choice.
The chocolate
covered cadence of the words had real power,
in her
opinion.
CUSTARD
CREAM and RICH TEA were insipid,
Too
NICE
to
pack a punch,
they are the
biscuits chanted in the school playground
by the lips of innocent
children.
She once heard someone say GARABALDI, loud and clear with venom.
But many
people consider the word just too fruity!
“Oh, GYPSY
CREMES!” said the woman in the purple skirt,
when
she tripped over its long hem.
Her singsong
voice making the biscuit sound exotic,
even playful
as
he weaves through his day,
not
a care in the world,
who
he might offend.
Saying GINGER
NUTS got a raised eyebrow from her Granny once.
Muttering JAFFA CAKES under her breath, just made Grandpa giggle.
But it was the day she heard her
mother yell
“CHOCOLATE HOB NOBS!”
When she
realised life would never be the same again.
