Sometimes it’s just too hard to write
and my
meandering sentences
don’t
find a place
to
settle.
my
attention
wanders
aimlessly
from
place
to
place quite far away
and separate.
How can I join the dots
and
focus?
My self-sabotage is legendary
at
least in my own head
where I am the star of my own
show.
And yet all too often writing is just too hard…
How do I convey to you
the
complexities
of
my thought process?
I was told once
I was
ordinary
Everyone
feels the same way,
I was affronted by that!
Didn’t he know I was special?
Unique,
a true revolutionary,
trailblazing
pioneer!
To be ordinary,
like
everybody else?
Oh,
the horror!
I want to stand out … and yet
so
often I want to hide and not be noticed
comparison
could be unfavourable
and
what if no one understands?
Is that why it is so hard to write?
Can I find the time?
Do I
carve out minutes
for my-self indulgent
twaddle?
Will anybody care?
Sometimes it’s just too hard to write,
until I
pick up my pen
and
spoil this pristine page with scribble.
I’m going to need another notebook
for the
good stuff
while
this will be hidden
Unless - I publish anyway
and
become the viral sensation,
that
I obviously deserve to be.
But then it doesn’t happen
and I
wallow
I
throw the pens
I
tear the paper
I
stamp my feet, collapse in a heap.
It’s difficult to write when you are crying
although
I’ve mastered the art of while I drive
Tears flow freely like the ideas,
the
words that tumble
while
I have no pen to hand
are
amazingly fluent and creative
award
winning literature
But here and now as I doodle
a
flower
a
box
a
dreamy white cloud
It’s just too hard to write
so I
give up
and
make a cup of tea instead.
