Just A Few Words

It doesn’t take many words to convey a huge amount of meaning.

After all, as Polonius wisely says in Hamlet, “Brevity is the soul of wit”, a line vaguely remembered from my A levels too many years ago.

Short sentences stick in your brain.

“Jesus wept.” Is the shortest verse in the Bible, it’s often quoted, although maybe not in the way it was intended, but it distils the essence of grief and humanity, loss, longing and love.

Alliterative words are good at stitching thoughts together into a neat package with no raw edges, they trip off the tongue.

Playing with words and meanings is a joy, from bending them into rhyme when you have the time to making jokes to stop the mopes (assonance – getting the rhyme wrong!)

Several days ago – not quite a 100 – I joined a Facebook group called The Daily Haiku.

There is a daily and weekly theme for inspiration. It is a pleasure to be part of a huge group of creative people. Haiku are fun to write and traditionally only seventeen syllables - requiring lots of counting on fingers, and I know that’s not just me because we discussed it in my writing group zoom chat! Although the purists out there may be horrified by that admission.

For someone who loves instant art in any form it really appeals. Although it can take time to cajole the words into just the right shape, changing and twisting them to communicate the essence of what you truly want to say. I admit I’ve rejected some efforts, when I couldn’t wrestle the gist out of them it made me submit to defeat rather than submit them online.

(ASIDE as my thoughts veer off at a tangent - Words that have more than one meaning – submission - a possible theme for another day, I will add that to the daily vote!)

To celebrate one hundred days of The Daily Haiku some of us recorded ourselves reading our poems. It has been edited together into a fabulous YouTube video – it’s well worth spending 20 minutes of your time watching.

 

A haiku jigsaw

Beautifully put together

Words painting pictures

 

Calming. Surprising!

The lilt of many voices

Warms a weary soul

 

Words can resonate and have the power to heal, often we wonder what to say to people especially when tragedy strikes, in times of grief or when people are struggling.

Lockdown has been a struggle for many of us, it comes and goes but hopefully we are able to find some words of comfort. They don’t have to be wrapped in a haiku but neither do they have to be long winded or clever. They can be borrowed – think of all the memes on social media and how they can be so apt in certain situations.

I’m aware I’ve probably written too many words here – long winded maybe clever maybe not.

I should go back to the quote at the start and put an end to this soliloquy, it’s hardly “to be or not to be…”

But hopefully my words have served some purpose, my last blog had some rave reviews (Hahahaha) – do check out the video if you didn’t stop half way through to escape the monologue.

Perhaps even try to write a haiku just for fun or for a friend, and see where the words take you…

 

A new day dawns

Fresh with possibilities

Which path should I take?

Middle Aged, Middle Class and Mildly Cross!

Well I guess 52 is somewhere in the middle ages of life. I own a house, a car, have a degree level education and actually don’t need to work so I must be middle class.

But am I mildly cross, furious, a bit peeved or just numb? Mildly cross was the best alliteration.

It started when I went shopping, there are more people about these days and some of them don’t appear to know the rules we have been abiding over the past few weeks.

Some people have no idea where to stand when queuing at the market or at the co-op?

“You can just go in now.” Said the woman who came up behind me.

“I just looked a bit too busy.” I replied, waiting for the next person to leave before I entered.

After all there is still a limit on numbers allowed. And a notice saying one in – one out.

I almost regretted going in at all when I counted about six people down the first aisle – none wearing masks or apparently aware of the existence of the 2 metre rule.

“DON’T YOU KNOW THERE’S A PANDEMIC!” I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs but obviously didn’t – how to spread a LOAD of germs in one go, although I was wearing a mask and I have no discernible symptoms.

Am I just a worry wart? Do I just like being cross and grumpy? Or is there more than meets the eye?

There is of course always more that one side to any story.

I tried smiling at those I met even behind my mask.

“You can tell you are smiling by your eyes.” Said the cashier, when I promised that today I wouldn’t make her cry. “You always come in when I’m feeling emotional.”

I really feel for her and anyone put in a position of having to work and deal with the public, the great unwashed as Andrew might have called them or the maskless.

But let’s not debate the pros and cons of wearing PPE in public places, yes, I have strong opinions and I will voice them but I need to calm my frazzled nerves and writing has always been a great way to sift my thoughts and bring about some balance.

So what I am really angry about? Or maybe who am I angry at?

The BIG answer I suppose is GOD.

He always seems to spoil my plans. So much for working with me and promising blessings.

Getting a cancer diagnosis right before moving was quite frankly shitty timing. Now if there had been a silver lining of meeting a gorgeous single consultant on my cancer journey, I might be a bit happier about it.

But treatment ate away at 2019, stole some of my hard-earned self confidence and left me with proper scars and most likely permanent nerve damage.

Thanks God – another lesson I didn’t want to learn, although what lesson was I suppose to be learning? Life is unfair?

I think I learnt that that one several thousand words ago with my first blog.

And now just as things are getting better on a personal scale and I’m reasonable fit and healthy, ready to conquer the world there’s a global pandemic!

And that’s the problem with being angry at God – whatever my grievances are there are millions, billions of people so much worse off than Mrs Middle Aged, Middle Class and Mildly Cross with her first world problems!

Even adding in the fact that my dad is terminally ill with cancer doesn’t tip the scales when compared to a refugee who has lost EVERYTHING.

Not that God particularly wants us to make those kinds of comparisons. They are not really helpful. If God is loving he cares for ALL in ALL situations.

If being angry with God ultimately gets you nowhere (although I realise lots of psalms cover this ground and anger at God is legitimate, he has the broadest of shoulders) how about I focus my disappointment back on me?

I’ve had over three months of major procrastinating, I’ve read a few books, phoned a few people pushed the coffee table out of the way and jumped up and down for a few Zumba classes but is that enough?

I could have written a novel, finally turned my first blog into a memoir, produced something truly AMAZING!

Other people have, but so often other people’s increased activity just makes me act even more sluggish in a weird sort of defiance.

I don’t think I’m actually alone and this blog is a shoutout to all those who are wondering what this time is all about? This is for those who haven’t sewn hospital scrubs out of old duvets, haven’t delivered cream teas to the elderly, haven’t been working relentlessly on the front line, haven’t rearranged their bookshelf to create the most pleasing display as a back drop for their myriad zoom meetings.

We need to remember to be kind and being kind starts with us.

Remember at the beginning the advice was simply “stay at home”, this was how we were going to “do our bit” – so maybe we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves.

If we are still breathing, if we are still getting up and dressed most mornings maybe for now that is still enough.

In many ways we are experiencing a kind of grief, mourning the loss of life as we knew it.

I tried at the start of all this to at least do one thing productive each day. Not the greatest challenge and looking back through my diary I have had things to write each day, spurts of activity punctuate the malaise.

Thankfully things are forever changing; I have tentative plans just over the horizon and things won’t always be like this even if just now they seem just beyond our reach…

For now at least my initial anger has dissipated, the numbness hasn’t quite worn off but posting this blog is my way of being productive today and maybe my words here

let's hope my anger gives me courage to create something better!

will help someone and this will have been a very good day indeed!

Lockdown Art - Emerging and Blooming

Do you remember having plans for 2020? Those dates on the calendar that seemed set in stone, places to be and people to see.

For me the end of the university year coincided perfectly with a retreat to Lindisfarne. I planned a weekend away enjoying some space before picking youngest son up after his exams on the way home and starting the LONG summer break.

Well the long summer break became extended, starting way before Easter and I suppose at least the weather played along.

However my weekend retreat at the end of May was, like so many things this year - a casualty of Covid.

Whereas many events have “zoomed” ahead in the virtual world, it was felt that this would have excluded some participants, so instead we were all sent a “Ladies Retreat to Lindisfarne staying at home” pack.

Included was information, prayers, colouring in sheets but most exciting to me a “slow stitching pack”. Scraps of fabric, thread, yarn and buttons. A cornucopia of tactile goodies yearning to be played with, stitched together and overlaid creating shifting patterns, emerging and evolving into ART.

Now for only having 3 letters ART is a pretty big word and I would struggle to call myself an ARTIST, in much the same way as I struggle with the concept of being a Writer with a capital W. But I sometimes write so therefore sometimes I am!

Unfortunately most of us set ourselves such lofty ideas of what these terms actually mean and yet we ALL have the ability to be creative in our own ways.

I knew of a man who painted the most exquisite watercolour pictures but because he couldn’t expressive himself in BOLDER acrylics, he didn’t think much of his obvious talent that everyone else could clearly see.

We always set the bar high and often judge our own efforts much harsher than we would our contemporaries.

It sadly can take years to recognise our own talents, they need gentle nurturing to make them flourish.

I was fortunate to have been part of a church for many years which encouraged art in ALL its forms, and that is the church which had organised this retreat, following in the footsteps of many other artistic endeavours and exhibitions in the past.

So I was in no way daunted by the pack of fabric and buttons – mostly in my favourite colours of pink and green.

I threw open the patio doors, sat cross legged in the sunshine and tipped everything our at my feet to play and see what I could make.

It seemed obvious that the goose had to be a focal point – although I confess I originally thought of the story of the ugly duckling and how he emerges as a swan – but whatever kind of bird it is in reality I wanted it to peep out.

I pulled threads tight and frayed edges; it was emerging boldly from a tangled mess into something new. The felt fabric provided neater boundaries, some enclosed by tidy blanket stitch.

The lily is a representation of the first lily that opened this year on Easter Sunday. New potential, new beginnings – blooming in a world that’s been turned upside down and irretrievably changed.

The sequins are the little pieces of joy that sparkle often catching us unawares. And buttons are a symbol of what holds us altogether. I often use buttons and other found items in what I create, It's repurposing for the next chapter.

I’ve written before about this lockdown being a time of mending and I’m sure there is still much to do, overall what emerges and blooms when this is over is up to us. These are the themes that keep reverberating around my head. Although the continued head spinning often leaves me so dizzy my focus blurs – perhaps that’s a topic I should explore another day?

For many the new ways of doing things will continue to be embraced. The frayed areas will add character making us resilient – Is it any wonder that I called my very first blog unravelling edges about mending my life after my husband died. Some edges will always be raw.

My words, my sewing, my garden and everything I create is a tapestry of my ever-changing life. Some bits may be messy but hopefully there is also much to delight in. And once joined with everyone else’s efforts we can make something really beautiful!

Whether that beauty is displayed in an artspace at the back of a church or in our High Street windows, or the virtual world we also inhabit – let’s resolve to make the world a brighter place as we emerge blinking into something new.

Other Lockdown art - photos from my garden and other creations...